Prepping Your Parents to Move
I have always loved the elderly. When I was a kid, my mom used to work as a nurse practitioner at a senior living in town and I used to go with her and visit the residents. Playing dominoes and chatting about life was a frequent past-time, and it filled my bucket and was so rewarding for my little kid heart. Fast forward to my twenties, when I realized my apartment complex was next door to Brookdale Senior Living. One day after work I went over and asked if they needed volunteers to play games with the residents, and the rest is history. A few months later, they told me about a job opening in Activities and I spent the next few years building up an enrichment program there. I ended up getting my Masters in Gerontology while working at the Alzheimer's Association building up my knowledge of Alzheimers/dementia, how to counsel families and wrote my thesis on ambiguous loss. Finally, I worked at Episcopal Homes in St Paul and built a staff training program that was proven and successful for all levels of care, supporting 500 employees. So when I say I love the elderly and improving their lives, I mean it.
When I started OrgaNice, my early clients were all seniors working at Episcopal Homes. I was helping them declutter, move between buildings, and building better functioning systems in their small spaces to keep them safe, especially when the aging process makes safety a big priority for independence! Over time, my clients shifted and I was doing as many jobs for busy families and young professionals as seniors, and expanded my services to include move preparation, packing and unpacking.
As I worked with seniors and their adult children, I was witnessing family dynamics in action. Moving is HARD! Giving up independence is HARD! Trying to work through a lifetime's worth of stuff is HARD! This is why a kind and neutral person ushering your family through it can be so helpful.
Here are a few tips pulled straight from my experience to help make the process easier. Adult children - this one's for you.
- Pick your battles. I get it- you know that your parent wants to bring way more than will reasonably fit in their new space. The worst thing that will happen is it will get moved and it will become obvious it won't fit and it will be much easier to talk through it. When it comes to small stuff, just let it be. Trust me - this happens in Every. Single. Move.
- Work on decluttering way before there is a crisis. When you're dealing with the chaos of sudden illness or a fall, it makes everything infinitely more complicated. Wait lists for senior living places can be long - years long - so thinking through next steps way in advance is really helpful.
- When you're deciding what will move, if there are many family members who will want different items, it can be helpful to use garage sale circle stickers to differentiate who gets what. Assign a color for each person.
- Be careful about using services that promise to find you a senior living without you having to pay. They are getting paid by SOMEONE and if it's not you, it's the senior living. That makes it really hard to be objective and choose what is really a good fit for your parent.
- Assign one person to be the point person for big decisions. Ambiguity makes everything harder.
- Make sure you know where all important documents are, and ensure all legal documents are in order and in good shape.
- Consider hiring someone to be your advocate and help you through the process. I have references if you need someone. This is especially great if you're long distance!
I could go on and on. If this is content you find helpful, let me know. I love being a resource for my clients and their families!
